No Reply — What Tame Impala Taught Me About Social Anxiety
This weekend I listened to the new Tame Impala album Deadbeat on repeat. One song — No Reply — stopped me in my tracks. Here is the video.
Kevin Parker sings:
“I apologize for the no reply. I wish I could describe what goes on inside. I get these butterflies, then they make me tired.”
And later:
“Was I impolite? Was that joke alright? I just want to seem like a normal guy.”
It’s vulnerable. Honest. And painfully relatable.
Even as a communication coach, I’ve felt that same swirl of thoughts — just this weekend at a neighbor’s party and my kid’s soccer game. Lying awake later wondering: Was I rude? Did I talk too much? Did I ask enough questions?
That’s the part that hit me. We teach presence and confidence — but even those of us who do this for a living can feel unsure in social moments.
If you’ve ever felt that way, here’s what I want you to know: You’re not alone. There’s nothing wrong with you.
So what can we do — as friends, neighbors, colleagues?
Have empathy. When someone seems quiet or doesn’t reply, it’s easy to assume: They’re rude. or They didn’t like me. But maybe they’re just anxious, tired, or unsure what to say. Let’s not jump to stories.
If you’re the one who struggles, be honest — like Kevin Parker. You might simply say:
“Hey, if I don’t reply right away, please don’t take it personally. I sometimes find it hard to communicate, but I do care.”
That kind of openness builds understanding instead of guilt.
Remember: connection isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up — even imperfectly — and letting people see the real you. Tame Impala reminded me of that this weekend. And maybe that’s the lesson we all need: Sometimes the most powerful communication is just saying how it feels inside.
