The Best Conversations are the Ones you Almost Missed.
I took a real pause. Two weeks in Boston and NYC with my family. My only agenda was to recharge and to try to be as present as possible. While being present, something made me sad.
Missed connections everywhere I looked. Families at dinner, couples at coffee, strangers on ferries, people in line at some of the most alive, interesting places in the world, all looking down at their phones. All that potential conversation, just sitting there untouched.
But then my celebrity spotting happened.
Phone away at dinner at a Mexican restaurant in Martha's Vineyard, I spotted Elisabeth Shue (the iconic actress from 80's and 90's Karate Kid and Adventures in Babysitting movies) at the next table.
Elisabeth Shue, Karate Kid
I got so excited I launched out of my seat I spilled my margarita all over the table. But I got up anyway and walked over. I said,
"Oh my goodness, I got so excited when I recognized you. I just watched Karate Kid with my children and they loved it. It was a movie that meant so much to me growing up, and it was so fun to watch it with them. Thank you!"
She couldn't have been warmer. She wasn't annoyed or distant. She asked me questions and seemed genuinely interested in the brief conversation. Upon reflection, this conversation might have been very different if I had my phone out wanting a picture with her.
A few days later, phone away in my purse, I spotted two Bay Area friends, one in line for the Staten Island Ferry and another at the Museum of Natural History. Two separate, unexpected reconnections I would have walked right past with my head down.
We talk a lot about the power of communication. But communication requires presence first.
So here's the challenge I'm bringing home from this trip, and I'm inviting you to try it too: Notice the moment.
I'm not saying throw the phone in the Hudson. We all need it for maps, reservations, the occasional "what time does this place close." But there's a difference between using your phone and hiding in it. Again, the challenge is just to notice the moment.
Ask yourself,
Is what I'm doing on this screen more important than the person in front of me right now? More important than this place, this meal, this conversation I haven't had yet?
If the answer is no, put it away. And in one interaction today, go one layer deeper than you normally would. Not "how's your day going" but "where are you from?" Not "thanks for the recommendation" but "what brought you here?"
The pause isn't just about doing less. Sometimes it's about making room for what's actually right in front of you.
